A Fish Named Dave

Grief does funny things to a person.  And I do mean funny.  For me right after my husband died, I wanted to nest, and I also wanted a new puppy.  Unfortunately I already have too many animals so it was no to the puppy (or kitten, wanted one of them too).  

Then I just wanted something electronic, with whistles and bells, that plugs in or has batteries.  So I was going to get the Amazon Echo but then I found out you couldn't change her name from Alexa to Dave.  Yes, I missed talking to my husband.  We loved talking politics and current events.  There was never a subject we didn't like to discuss.  With all that is happening this election year, I miss hearing his opinions about all the bombshells hitting in October.

I miss his voice, his humor and most of all his laughter.  I miss how he told me he loved me over and over again because it was our code word for all is well between us.  

Yes, I knew I couldn't have what I wanted but somehow I just had to have something I could call Dave.  So since he had said I could have a fish tank last year for my birthday and I had resisted the idea, I decided I would get a fish now and name him "Dave."  I already had a small 2.5 gallon tank so it would be perfect.

I went to the pet store with a light step, happy I was going to help keep the grief at bay.  I came home with two fish, because you know Dave had to have a friend, of course.  Dave is a black moor, a type of goldfish and it so happens the same exact kind of fish I bought 28 years ago while we lived in an apartment in Redondo Beach and couldn't have pets.  That black moor was named Bubba.  I adored Bubba who lived in a goldfish bowl without a filter and way too small.  Dave, my husband, being the kind man that he was, agreed that Bubba needed a bigger home (ok, the truth is we thought he was dying and  knew we had the power to save him from a trip down the toilet bowl, which he eventually did take but that is another story for another day.)  We went to the pet store and came home with a 60 gallon tank for one goldfish.  I told you he loved me!  I don't remember now why we ended up getting one so large, but I am sure we got a good deal on it and I bet  my jackilogic came into play in justifying such a large purchase.

Well back to Dave and his new friend, Donny.  Donny is a fancy goldfish and I admit his coloring does look a bit like a fake orange tan and yes he also has small hands (I mean gills).   All was well with Dave and Donny, the first few days anyway.  They swam around and got used to their new home.  Donny has a strong personality and he would often gobble up all the food, while poor Dave just held back waiting for the leftovers.  

Every day I would feed them and Dave was always right there to greet me and smile back (ok, I don't have proof that he smiled because I don't think fish smile, but just go with it) while he waited for me to give him delectable morsels to chew on, then Donny who always ignores me, would race up and eat it all himself.  I just knew Dave must be unhappy having to share such a small space with Donny.

So I thought about what my husband, Dave would say about all this.  I mean he did say I could have a fish tank last year for my birthday, didn't he?   That is perfect jackilogic to justify buying a new tank now.  And wouldn't Dave, the fish, sure love me for giving him some space from Donny.  You all would be quite proud as I held back and even though a 60 gallon would look just beautiful and hold lots of fish, I ended up just getting 29 gallons.  But 29 gallons meant 10 times larger than what they were living in, so I must say, it was a great choice.

I found out that day how difficult life can be when it is just you trying to lift that glass tank up on the base,  I might have called Dave a few names he wouldn't like for dying on me and a most inopportune time at that.  I did say it under my breath so that Dave the fish didn't think I was talking about him. But I got the job done and still have all my fingers and toes. And I could tell Dave, the fish was so excited cause he kept swimming back and forth anxiously waiting for his new home to be ready.

Dave and Donny love their new home.  I filled it with lots of pretty colorful plants and a few logs and stones for them to swim in and out of.  All was well....for about a week.

Then the need for more fish hit me.  Why, oh why, can't I leave well enough alone?  

Dave and Donny must surely be lonely in that big tank all by themselves.  And frankly I think Donny was boring the heck out of Dave with all his tank talk about how he was going to make their tank great again.  I mean really, Dave already thinks the tank is great. Even Gracie thinks the tank is great.

Off to the pet store I went again and am happy to say I brought home a few more friends.  Another black moor who was actually a copper brown color and didn't look like a black moor at all.  I named her Hilly, which proved to be a smart move since she has now turned black and I can hardly tell the difference between her or Dave.  I must admit she has put on weight since she changed color and just the other day Donny was chasing her all over the tank, saying something about what a big fish he was in a small tank, but who knows it might all be in his mind.

Then there is just a boring plain old brown (not really gold) goldfish who I named Bernice.  She just kind of swims around, minds her own business and thinks all the fish should be given equal amounts of food regardless of size or how long they have been in the tank.  She means well of course, but Donny says she is a socialist and should go find her own school of fish to swim in. She says that isn't feasible because finding a good school of fish to swim with is just too expensive these days.

And then there is the goldfish who could or could not be a koi.  Ok, he isn't a koi even though he is as colorful and beautiful as they come.  Oh it would have been great to find the perfect name for him but jackilogic says his name must be "Dave Too" because he has a mustache just like my husband, Dave. And since it is my tank, jackilogic prevails.

I told you he looks like Dave.

Last but not least is the only worker fish of the bunch, but every tank must have one.  Mike the pence, I mean plecostamus.  He has to suck it up all the time and just ignore what all the other fish are doing.  He just sucks the glass keeping the tank clean oblivious to all the trouble Donny is causing. Because he is a good fish, he follows the rules and stays out of trouble.

So there you go, that is my fish tank.  I am quite happy with all my fish. They can't wait for me to come to the tank and talk to them. I tell them all about the politics of the day and they listen with great interest, as long as I am providing free snacks as part of the deal.  But like all politicians, once the treats are gone, so are they.